I adore Chip and Joanna Gaines. Seriously. Adore. I love them as much as you can love any other TV couple that seems to have it absolutely all together. They are adorable. Their relationship is adorable. Their children are adorable. Their store in Waco is adorable. Her line of products at Target is adorable. Her on site bakery is adorable.

Should I ever encounter either Chip or Joanna at 5 AM with awful hair and terrible morning breath, I have no doubt I would still find them…..adorable.

Fixer Upper, their HGTV series, was one of the few television shows my husband and I could agree to watch together. My dad is from Waco and much of his family still resides there. The small town Texas charm featured on the show has such appeal for those of us who aren’t Southerners. I had the pleasure of visiting Magnolia last summer and found it to be lovely. Everything I would have in my own store had I an iota of decorating talent or business ownership savvy. Yep, just the same.

Chip and Joanna are cute, sweet and hilarious. (I met and spoke with Joanna’s mother for about 3 seconds last year so I feel completely comfortable making an assessment on Chip and Joanna based on that interaction.) We’ve watched them transform junk heaps and condemned nightmares into dream properties. I’ve seen her pick a structure that likely should’ve been razed only to watch Chip transform it into her vision and every woman in America’s dream home.

Their show has given us all just enough hope that our small corner of the earth could, if we ever had the time, money or know-how, be completely gutted and resurrected into a shiplapped, whitewashed, linen covered, greenery accented showplace.

If I haven’t made it abundantly clear, as it stands for the Gaines’s, I am ALL IN. I love their style. I love their sense of humor. I love their playful banter. I love their little family of six. I even loved Chip’s gray tooth. (If you haven’t seen the clip where he discusses his tooth, find it and watch it!)

I subscribe to what they’re selling. Wholeheartedly. I will rip up the carpet in my 1990’s built home in the hopes of finding original hardwoods from 1955. I will pull the stairs off my newly poured porch to unearth some relic from 1890. Why? Because Chip and JoJo do it and they make it look easy and cool.

But, I dare say, they have gone. too. far.

It was recently announced that Chip and Joanna are expecting their fifth child. Overnight, ovaries everywhere threw eggs out at warp speed. If you thought shiplap production went into overdrive in the last three years, just wait until you see what the nation’s obstetricians will be facing in about nine months.I don’t know that the country can handle a population increase like what we will be seeing in late 2018.

Exaggeration? Perhaps. But their influence may reach even a bit further than we all thought. Case in point- Last night a somewhat sane, middle-aged mother of four went to bed mad.

Mad.

Mad that my her husband wouldn’t agree to a fifth child.

Before I go any further, let me explain he is surgically incapable of fulfilling this request………..without a further surgery. This was a little procedure we agreed upon together nearly three years ago because we had prayerfully considered and concluded four children was our max number of biological children.

BUT……….Chip and Joanna are having a fifth child so this changes everything. Everything.

I appreciate Chip and Joanna’s desire to further their family but feel it would have been more appropriate for them to consult the couples of this country to determine if it made sense for everyone. They have, after all, made us feel like it’s possible for each of us to have it all. It would have also been generous for them to do several shows preparing husbands for what was about to come. Either gearing them up to increase the size of their own families or bracing them for the ongoing pleas from their wife to add to their brood.

Or perhaps a Fixer Upper special on what will undoubtedly be the next renovation trend sweeping the nation- How to blow out the entire back of your home to create a two story nursery decorated only with cotton picks.

The bad news– There was no prep. There was no mini-series sharing expertise on how to get your husband to agree to increasing your family’s size. I pouted for a solid day and still no willingness on my husband’s part to have a fifth baby. There is only his continued response that our current life situation is enough of a Fixer Upper as is.

The good news– I think this entire thing might be just the power play I need to finally get my entire main floor completely covered in shiplap.

I’ll take it.

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